When Your Baby Gets Fussy at Night
If your baby becomes increasingly fussy as the evening goes on, you are not alone.
Many parents notice that their baby is harder to settle at night. You try feeding, rocking, bouncing, and walking around the house, but nothing seems to work. Baby might cry more, resist being put down, or seem uncomfortable no matter what you try and you might be at the end of your rope physically and emotionally.
These evening hours are often called the "witching hour," and while they can be exhausting, evening fussiness is very common during Baby's early months.
Understanding why Baby becomes fussy and learning a few gentle ways to help them settle may make these challenging evenings feel a little more manageable.
Why Babies Become More Fussy in the Evening
Fussiness is often Baby's way of communicating that something feels uncomfortable in their body or environment.
In the early months, Baby's nervous system is still developing. They are learning how to process movement, sound, touch, and internal sensations like digestion and fatigue. Because of this, Baby can become overwhelmed more easily.
By the end of the day, several things may be contributing to Baby's fussiness:
Overstimulation: A full day of sounds, lights, movement, and interaction can become overwhelming.
Fatigue: Baby may be tired but have difficulty settling into sleep.
Digestive discomfort: Gas, fullness, or discomfort after feeding may make it harder for Baby to relax.
Body tension: Baby may feel uncomfortable after spending time in certain positions or being held in one position for too long.
Need for reassurance: Baby may need extra closeness, touch, and support to feel comfortable.
When several of these factors occur together, Baby may cry more and have a harder time settling.
If you think Baby's discomfort could be from excess gas, please visit our page Gassy Baby at Night? – How Baby Massage Can Help Them Settle.
How Gentle Touch Helps a Fussy Baby Settle
Touch is one of the earliest senses to develop and one of the most important ways Baby experiences the world. In the early months, Baby relies on you to help them regulate their emotions and responses to their environment. This process is called co-regulation.
When Baby feels overwhelmed, you might notice crying, stiffening, flailing arms and legs, or difficulty settling even when they are tired.
Gentle, steady touch can help Baby feel safe, comfortable, and relaxed. Research shows that loving touch also plays an important role in helping Baby feel secure and learn how to manage their emotions as they grow (1).
Baby massage offers a simple way to provide this gentle, predictable touch.
Through regular massage, you can help Baby:
Experience gentle, reassuring touch
Become more comfortable with different sensations
Develop body awareness
Enjoy moments of closeness and interaction
Become familiar with a relaxing routine
Over time, these repeated experiences can become an enjoyable and familiar part of Baby's day.
One important thing to remember is that Baby massage works best when Baby is receptive to touch. If Baby is already crying intensely or becoming more upset, holding them close or reducing stimulation may be a better place to start.
Five Gentle Ways to Help a Fussy Baby Settle
When Baby is fussy, small changes can make a meaningful difference. You don't need to try everything at once. Start by watching Baby's cues and choosing one or two approaches that seem to help.
Slow Things Down
If Baby has had a busy day, try reducing the amount of stimulation around them. Dim the lights, lower the noise, and move to a quieter space. Hold Baby close and give them time to adjust. Sometimes Baby needs fewer sounds, movements, and interactions rather than more.
Use Gentle, Steady Touch
There is a simple way to introduce touch without overwhelming Baby with too much movement or stimulation. Place your warm hands gently on Baby's chest, tummy, or legs. Watch how they respond. If Baby seems comfortable, you can begin using slow, gentle strokes.
Try a Simple Baby Massage Routine
Start with Baby's legs and feet, which are often comfortable areas for introducing massage. Use slow, rhythmic strokes with your warm hands, watching Baby's cues as you go.
If Baby is comfortable, you can move to their tummy. Gentle clockwise circles are traditionally used in infant massage to follow the general direction of the large intestine and may help with digestive comfort.
You don't need to do a long massage session. Even a few minutes of gentle touch can be a pleasant experience for Baby.
If you'd like a more complete routine, we've created a step-by-step guide you can follow at home.
Check out our article Baby Massage Before Bed – A Simple Routine to Help Baby Relax and Settle.
Support Comfortable Movement
Some babies enjoy gentle movement when they are feeling unsettled. You might try holding Baby while swaying or rocking and add a bit of rhythm by gently patting their back or bum. Keep movements slow and supported and watch how Baby responds.
These position changes and continuous motion can provide different sensory experiences and may help Baby settle more easily.
Follow Baby's Cues
Learning to recognize Baby's cues helps you respond to Baby's individual needs and build confidence in your interactions together. One of the most important parts of helping Baby settle is recognizing when they have had enough. Baby may communicate discomfort by turning away, stiffening, becoming restless, or crying more.
If you notice these signs, pause the massage or movement and give Baby a break. You can try again later when Baby seems more comfortable and receptive.
Can Baby Massage Help With Evening Fussiness?
Research suggests that baby massage may help Baby settle into more comfortable sleep patterns. In a 2023 study involving 140 infants, researchers found that babies who received a 15-minute bedtime massage each night for two weeks fell asleep more quickly, woke less often during the night, and had longer stretches of uninterrupted sleep (2).
Baby massage isn't a guaranteed solution for evening fussiness, but it can be one useful part of a familiar evening routine. Rather than waiting until Baby is already very upset, consider introducing massage earlier in the evening, when they are comfortable and alert.
This gives Baby an opportunity to enjoy the experience without the added challenge of being overtired or overwhelmed.
A few minutes of massage after a bath or before pajamas may eventually become a familiar signal that the day is winding down.
What If Baby Still Won't Settle?
Sometimes Baby will continue to fuss even after you've tried feeding, changing, holding, and soothing them. That doesn't necessarily mean you need another technique. The goal isn't to stop every episode of fussiness. It's to become more confident recognizing Baby's needs and responding in ways that help them feel comfortable and supported.
Consider whether Baby might be hungry, tired, uncomfortable, too warm, too cold, or in need of a quieter environment. Persistent or unusual crying, especially when accompanied by fever, feeding difficulties, vomiting, or other signs of illness, should be discussed with Baby's healthcare professional.
If Baby seems to want to be held, you can simply hold them. Massage and movement aren't always what Baby needs in that moment.
Creating a Familiar Evening Routine
Babies benefit from familiar, predictable interactions. A simple evening routine might include a warm bath, a few minutes of baby massage, pajamas, feeding, and a quiet transition toward sleep.
You don't have to follow exactly the same schedule every evening. What matters is finding a sequence that works for your family and adjusting it as Baby grows and their needs change.
You can also introduce massage at other times of the day. Some babies enjoy their massage more in the morning or before a nap, when they are more alert and receptive.
The more comfortable you become with baby massage, the easier it becomes to recognize when Baby might enjoy it and when they need something different.
Learn More Through Best Beginnings
At Best Beginnings, we help parents discover simple ways to support Baby's early development through our Five Pillars: Touch, Movement, Primitive Reflexes, Rhythm and Sound, and Sensory Play.
Our online program teaches baby massage techniques step by step, along with gentle movements that support Baby's comfort and body awareness.
You'll learn how to recognize Baby's cues, adapt massage to their needs, and incorporate touch and movement into everyday routines.
Whether you're looking for ways to help a fussy Baby settle or simply want to become more confident using gentle touch, the Best Beginnings Online Baby Massage and Movement Program gives you practical techniques you can learn at home.
Learn more at bestbeginnings.ca.
References
Montirosso, R., & McGlone, F. (2020). The body comes first: Embodied reparation and the co-regulation of infant affect. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 113, 77–87.
Rezaei, R., Sharifnia, H., Nazari, R., & Saatsaz, S. (2023). Bedtime massage intervention for improving infant and mother sleep condition: A randomized controlled trial. Journal of Neonatal-Perinatal Medicine, 16(2), 271–278.
